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Should you take out a personal loan to finance your wedding?
Logically, it doesn’t make sense for the bride and groom to spend beyond their means.
But that didn’t stop a woman from taking out a personal loan worth RM40,000 for a lavish wedding.
She shared on social media that it was not her decision.
Yang kahwin kau,
Yang pinjam leads kau pun,
Yang bayar hutang pun kau.
Orang lepas makan, bual2 lepas tu hilang.
Salam kaut pun belum tentu boleh cover conduit pinjaman.
Kalau yang buat semua tu kau, tak payah nak jaga hati orang sangat. Defend your territory.
Moga Allah permudahkan https://t.co/zI1rZvgwna
— ᴍʀ.ᴅ | (@mrdcreatives) November 9, 2022
It was her parents who insisted on a grand wedding ceremony.
Its sharing on the social site Twitter @ConfessTweetMY echoed with netizens.
Hi, admin, I want to share a story. Please do not reveal my profile. I’ve only been married six months. During these six months, I cried more than I was happy. It all started before the wedding when my parents forced me to take out a loan for the wedding.
The woman expressing regret for taking out a personal loan to fund her wedding.
Her husband is a clerk and she works under government contract.
She had told the parents that she wanted to throw a small party, inviting up to 100 people.
His parents disagreed because many of their relatives and friends had to be invited.
When she resisted the idea, her parents questioned her husband’s ability to care for her after marriage.
My husband (at the time as a fiancé) was discouraged when he found out. He sat down and discussed with my parents how many people would be invited. After counting, the number was 1,000 people and they wanted it to take place in a hotel. My parents suggested my husband to take a personal loan of RM40,000 if he wants to get married.
The woman on how money became a condition for them to marry.
Too late for regrets
Eventually, her husband took out a loan and the ceremony took place.
His parents are happy that many friends have come to greet the “big” ceremony.
The woman also said they were both stuck with heavy personal loan debt.
Right now we are having trouble repaying the loan. The husband returns to work and continues to do the food delivery service. I also sell as a dropshipper online but the sales are poor, sometimes there are none.
The wife revealing the financial consequences of their “borrowed” marriage.
She added that her husband was happy, but he is not anymore because of work fatigue and the constant burden of repayment.
The sharing elicited various reactions from virtual citizens.
Most sympathize with the fate of the couple who seem to be victims of circumstance.
Some said that if it was a Chinese wedding, the guests would give red envelopes (ang pow) to cover the wedding expenses.
Kahwin tips, make lots of Chinese friends.
Reason: Chinese/Thai bg angpow banyak.
My wedding (xtermasuk hantaran)
Duit ‘Ang Pow’
— -Sup- (@sboonratana) February 29, 2020
Traditionally, the standard amount of money to put in a red envelope is at least equal to the cost of the meal at a Chinese wedding banquet.
Sometimes couples profit even if they receive a large sum.
The concept of moderation in Islam
In the meantime, some regret that the mentality of the Malays still wants the male side to be responsible for the cost of weddings.
Islamic matchmaker Zuhri Yuhyi said that the hadith (sayings and teachings of the Prophet Muhammad as) tells Muslims that the “walima” (the wedding banquet) should be held in moderation without overdoing it.
He said couples should never start their married life in debt because they already have other financial responsibilities.
A wedding can certainly do without extensive planning, frills and hassle. The marriage that produces the most blessings is the one with the fewest burdens.
Islamic dating adviser Zuhri Yuhyi to TRP on spending within his means.
Zuhri said the couple’s predicament was all too common.
He said some families would splurge for a wedding, so as not to “lose face” in the community.
Honestly, parents are also to blame here…why nak malu sangat? Ni pinjam ah long boleh membahayakan nyawa….dan menyebabkan kemurungan dekat org lain jugak. I think people understand kot klu tak jadi kahwin https://t.co/emDivmt1sh
— Countess Dracula ♡ Megumi (@HimenoKokoro) August 23, 2022
It’s always a question of money
This is becoming a trend within the Malay community these days where the amount of bride price is based on the academic level of the bride.
The higher the level of education, the higher the marriage dowry.
This is said to be the reason why Malaysian men marry late these days.
Do you agree with this culture?
My sister kahwin 2017 mas kahwin dan jugak dikira sebagai wang hantaran RM5k. Kalau ikut gambar ni, SPM level. Walaupun ada ijazah. Itupun ayah marah and cakap tinggi. Tapi abah abang ipor cakap until sikit jadi 5k. Majlis pun ayah tak bagi abang ipor tanggung. Hmmm pic.twitter.com/zkQtg5R5Bm
— Pröf Emerıtus Datö’ Dr Hajah Hermıöne (@abcdefghermione) October 18, 2020